Sunday, August 28, 2011

2 things i learned today

well i learned a valuable lesson today. when lexi is sleeping and wakes up crying momom over and over again something is really wrong. well i knew something was right when she started whimpering but when i went in there and she started crying momom i knew and less than a minute later she progetile vomited all over the place. and the 2nd thing i learned is one since she cant really communicate she was scared cuz she didnt know what was going on and started screaming cuz the vomit was touching her. so i put her in the bath and she screamed even louder and starting freaking out cuz the stuff was in her water so i had to turn on the shower to clean her. so tonight was a learning experience


last week lexi started school. when she saw the bus she took off running away from me and away from the bus aide. but after that she was fine so not sure what the problem was. she had play therapy this week and as i was talking to her play therapist i mentioned that lexi is on vivance for adhd. she looked at me and said this little girl doesnt have an attention problem. she said yes lexi is immature but doesnt want to sit for more than 10 minutes but its because she has sensory problems and is sensory seeking. so she is writing lexis dr a letter to tell her she doesnt have adhd.she gave me some ideas on how to handle lexi when she has a meltdown and iv tried it and so far its helped a little bit. she just started speech and im anxious to see how much we can improve with talking

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

finally a phone call

so a week after i called lexis dr they finally called me. only to tell me that 1. her meltdowns are normal and are mostly sensory so just deal with it and talk to the OT and 2. as long as shes getting some sleep its fine cuz they cant do nothing but give her melitonin and since that 'work guess i gotta deal with that.but i really want to know how it is OK for a child to have sleeping habits of a newborn and it be OK. when i say sleeping habits of a newborn i'm talking getting up every 2-3 hours. i just want a night of uninterrupted sleep. also she is no longer eating all that much. she hardly touches breakfast and dinner.

Thursday, August 11, 2011


i called Lexi's developmental ped on tuesday and they never called me back. so i'm guessing once again i'll have to call them again and see if they can tell me what to do about Lexi's aggressive behaviors. shes still having meltdowns everyday and now all she wants to do is eat. its a good thing but all shes eating is cherrios and those are not the healthiest food out there. Her sensory issues are still out of wack. she still only wants to where clothes once in a while and wants to be unclothed the rest of the time.

Monday, August 8, 2011

just to get it off my chest

the more meltdowns lexi has the harder it becomes to even deal with it. like this evening she took off her clothes tried to get her to put something else on nope she only wanted socks. ok then i make her chicken nuggets and she eats about 8 of them. i go to make my own food now she wants my food too. here comes another meltdown. so i fix her some of my food she eats. and throws the rest of it at me for no reason. i tell her no and tell her its time for bed so she starts picking up her stuff to launch at me. i again tell her no pick her up and she starts screeching. finally i turn off the lights and tell her hey your do u want ur remote and she takes it and goes to sleep. what the heck is going on with her i want to know. everything is a fight with her. keeping clothes on her is like a chore all on its own.she will take the clothes off but wont put anything on and she has to be able to get into her drawer or she gets mad. the only thing i know that has set her off into epic meltdown mode is her pacifer. i just wish i knew how to stop her because 1 i am going to go crazy and 2 she is going to start school next week and she needs to not have meltdowns all the time. and ever since shes gone into meltdowns everyday she wont go to bed until after 930 or so even when i give her melitonin. so im going definitly call tomorrow cuz i think they need to tell me what to do to help her

more meltdowns

so ever since i took the pacifier away from lexi it seems the meltdowns come more and more often. like on saturday i ran down to the gas station and left her with my mom well she went into an epic meltdown because she wanted to go and i didnt take her. it was easier leaving her with my mom than taking her with. and sunday morning she had a few more meltdowns over odd things. im thinking i really need to call her developmental dr and see what we can do because its really getting hard to control her when shes in meltdown mode. im proud of her though cuz tomorrow will mark one week of giving up the pacifer.

Friday, August 5, 2011


lexi just had an hour meltdown and nothing i did worked. she kick, pulled my hair, banged her head with mine, threw stuff at me and screeched the whole time. only thing i can figure out that set her off is she wanted to take her clothes off and her pull up. i allowed her to take her clothes off but not her pull up and she went into a horrible meltdown. and of course when i couldnt get her to calm down i started to cry myself. the only reason she stopped was because of dora the explorer came on, if it wasnt for dora i think we would still be in meltdown mode. i really want to know what goes on in her head and i want people to understand why she does it. everyone thinks i should spank her and ignore her but spanking just pisses her off a hell of a lot more and ignoring her just lets her tear up my stuff or my moms stuff. i wish her dr appointment was sooner and not next month because i think the dr needs to get her a behavior consult or something. her hurting me is bad and i feel like a terrible mom because i don't know how to get her to stop.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

hi my name is autism

My Name Is Autism Hello. Allow me to introduce myself to you. My name is autism. Perhaps you know me or know of me. I am a condition, "disorder" that affects many people. I strike at will, when and where I want. Unlike Downs Syndrome or other birth "defects," I leave no marks on those I strike. In fact, I pride myself on the ability to infiltrate a child's life, while leaving him or her strikingly handsome. Many people may not even know I am there. They blame the child for what I cause him or her to do. I am autism and I do as I please.

I am autism. I strike boys and girls. infants and toddlers. I find my best victims to be boys around the age of 2, but any child will do. I like children and they are always the true victims, though I take hostage the others in the child's family as well. It is a bit like getting two for the price of one. I affect one child and "infect" the entire family.

I am autism. I strike rich and poor alike. The rich combat me with education and therapy. The poor shut their children away and cannot afford to fight me. I am able to win in the lives of poor children more than I am those of the wealthy, but I will try to take root anywhere.

I am autism. I am an equal opportunity disorder. I strike whites, blacks, Mexicans, Ukrainians, Russians, Poles, Slavs, Japanese, Koreans and Fins. In fact, I strike everywhere on Earth. I know no geographical bounds.

I am autism. I do not discriminate based upon religion either. I strike Jews and Christians, Muslims and Buddhists, Atheists and Agnostics. I do not care what religion a person is or what beliefs he may hold. When I strike, there will be little time for any of that anyway. When they find me, they will question everything they believe in, so why would I strike only one group? I have affected followers of every religion on the planet.

I am autism and I am strong and getting stronger every year, every month, every day, every minute and every second. I am concerned that money might be allotted to combat me and my takeover of children, but so far, I have little to fear. Some countries like Kuwait , are spending quite a bit of money to assist those who I have targeted and some, like the United States , would rather spend money on such ludicrous things as discovering the number of American Indians who practice Voodoo, as opposed to combating me. In an atmosphere such as that, I can flourish and wreck havoc at will. In places such as that, I rub my hands with glee at the problems I can cause to children, their families and to the society at large.

I am autism. When I come, I come to stay. I take the dreams and hopes of families and trample them with delight. I see the fear and confusion in the eyes of my victims and see the formation of wrinkles, the worries and pain on the face of their parents. I see the embarrassment their child causes because of me and the parents unsuccessful attempt to hide their child, and me. I see tears the parents cry and feel the tears of their child. I am autism. I leave sorrow in my wake.

I am autism. I taketh away and give nothing but bewilderment and loathing in return. I take speech and learning. I take socialization and understanding. I take away "common sense" and, if I am allowed to flourish, I take away all but their physical life. What I leave behind, is almost worse than death.

I am autism. I fear nothing except courage, which I thankfully see little of. I fear those who take a stand against me and attempt to fight me and bring others into the fight as well. I fear those who try to make it safe and easier for my victims in the community, and their families. I fear those who push ahead, despite the fact that I am in tow. I fear the day I will be eradicated from the planet. Yet, I do not fear too much right now. There is no need.

I am autism and I bet you know me or know of me. If you don't, you probably will soon. I am marching forward faster than I ever have before. I am looking for new children all the time. I am looking for new children to consume and new lives to destroy. I dread the day I will be looked upon with pity or worse yet, understanding, for that day, is the day I will begin to die.

But in the mean time I am safe, free to prowl onward. Free to cause the pain and suffering that I do so well. I am on a mission and have much work to do and thankfully no one is stopping me yet.

Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is autism. Perhaps you know me or know of me, if not don't worry, you will meet me soon.

what a month

first of all lexi is now getting occupational therapy which is going ok. i don't see any improvement but i guess i can't expect such a huge change so fast. we did find out at her doctor appointment that she has allergies to gluten and to milk so now she is on a gluten and casien free diet. i have to see the dietician to figure out how to do the diet cuz its hard to do. she will get speech here soon they just have to get the approval with medicaide. i'm excited for her to get speech so she will start talking more. a big and exciting thing is lexi is finally weaned off the pacifer. i decided that i was just gonna take it and she threw one heck of a fit but the after the first day she doesnt ask for it all that much. she does however have more meltdowns because she doesnt have it anymore so we will have to see what happens once shes used to not having it